I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Randomize
