Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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