I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
