This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
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It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
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Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
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