Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
