Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Moan for me like Helen Keller
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
