wrigley field is MILF paradise
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
