We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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