They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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