YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She told me I should be a condom model.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Randomize
