I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
