Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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