He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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