; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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