I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
