I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
