All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
