Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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