i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
