Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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