okay pat passed out under dana's car
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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