the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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