i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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