so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
