Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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