So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
