Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize