thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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