We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
