I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
