She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
