I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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