Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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