i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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