It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
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Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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