Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
