Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
