I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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