I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
