You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
too bad you live with your parents still
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
