So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
