This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She needs sedatives and a leash
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
