drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize