would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
