He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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