Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize