He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
