he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
