You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
