I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
