I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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