Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
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i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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