ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
