i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
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