JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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