She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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