I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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