He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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