so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Randomize
