they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
