Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

oh good, I think they're gone

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

the painters?

(860): View more from Connecticut

my herpes

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began

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(256): View more from Alabama

Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment

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(563): View more from Iowa

I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(662): View more from Mississippi

She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.

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(815): View more from Illinois

You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.

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(907): View more from Alaska

Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.

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(517): View more from Michigan

The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.

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