It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.