Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.

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  (312): You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today. http://tfl.nu/8lzo
  Replies (4) Good night (2985) Bad night (763)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.

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  (703): threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased. http://tfl.nu/r0ay
  Replies (14) Good night (966) Bad night (4068)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.

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  (703): This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar. http://tfl.nu/4fqp
  Replies (9) Good night (2476) Bad night (889)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire

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  (314): sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire http://tfl.nu/hb2c
  Replies (5) Good night (1657) Bad night (810)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.

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  (717): Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl. http://tfl.nu/lse9
  Replies (8) Good night (2186) Bad night (801)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!

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  (585): You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura! http://tfl.nu/nzmy
  Replies (15) Good night (2809) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  You're gonna judge me.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Howd you sleep with him already

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  (720): You're gonna judge me. (303): Howd you sleep with him already http://tfl.nu/qfz4
  Replies (9) Good night (1993) Bad night (478)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.

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  (443): He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever. http://tfl.nu/42ep
  Replies (5) Good night (396) Bad night (1631)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...

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  (214): Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable... http://tfl.nu/uugd
  Replies (3) Good night (1267) Bad night (832)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.

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  (940): He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there. http://tfl.nu/awit
  Replies (3) Good night (1048) Bad night (470)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom

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  (719): The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom http://tfl.nu/023b
  Replies (4) Good night (566) Bad night (1494)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection

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  (954): aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection http://tfl.nu/vqm1
  Replies (4) Good night (500) Bad night (1021)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.

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  (778): She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever. http://tfl.nu/jz26
  Replies (5) Good night (427) Bad night (899)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...

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  (704): So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around... http://tfl.nu/dav9
  Replies (0) Good night (668) Bad night (237)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?

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  (630): Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids? http://tfl.nu/4q99
  Replies (4) Good night (540) Bad night (235)

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