Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Randomize
