so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace