I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are