I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
vagina is talking i cant
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Randomize