Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
