I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
