the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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